Expats!

I was invited by my surgeon mentor Dr. Warren to the church that he has attended over the past 6 months while he has been in Dar. I was excited to attend the service after reading in one of the local magazines that it was a community of English speaking Christians who enjoy worshiping together. Now, just because they speak English does not constitute someone as being an Expat. An Expat is just simply someone who does not originally hail from Tanzania. Generally, these are going to be English speaking people. Someone that I’m actually going to be able to have a straightforward conversation with, one of the things that I have grown to miss the most other than my family, friends, credit card, a soft bed, and Target. I’ve come to realize that 1 or 2 word conversations simply aren’t fulfilling. That is the nice thing about Swahili, though. You can easily have a conversation with just a few words. It doesn’t get you far, though, but it can get you by. Needless to say, the opportunity to be around other English speaking beings was comforting to say the least. No straining to understand their words, no miscomprehension, just easy dialog. It was nice to have that again. It was even more so comforting to learn that some of them are from Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Michigan. There are actually some other Midwesterners here! Now just to get to be on good terms with them so as to actually have some other English speaking cohorts once my mentor departs on Tuesday.

In actuality, I just wish that I had someone else here with me. This rotation would be much easier to handle had I someone else here from school in the same situation. For just over a week now I’ve been pretty much on my own; a long, lonely week. I learned during my first year of PT school when I lived in a 1 bedroom apartment by myself that I don’t really do well alone. Those same feelings and hardships have quickly returned. It makes me realize my insecurities and how much I hate being isolated. If only being at the hospital was proving to be a relief from complete isolation. However, I have been told on 2 separate occasions by 2 separate staff at the hospital now that I am not good enough for their hospital because I don’t speak Swahili, that I have nothing to offer them. It is harsh to hear but I understand where they were coming from. My jaw did drop open in disbelief, though, thinking “you have got to be kidding. I’m a student, I’m here to learn. You’re supposed to be working with me and teaching me.” Even though I don't know how to speak Swahili, I know that I can still be polite, friendly, and offer a smile to everyone that I meet. I bring with me a years of education from an excellent school system. I know that I do indeed have something to offer. It just takes some work in communicating. But still it is hard to swallow hearing that me, a westerner, isn’t good enough for Tanzania. I am not needed here. I have nothing to offer them. I feel at times I’m wasting my time. Wasting away in complete isolation. Hopefully this week doesn’t prove too terribly long and Sunday comes quickly, allowing me once again to flock with my fellow birds of feather. My brothers and sisters. My expats.

More to come. Stay tuned.